In the 21st century

Meditating is not sufficient for you to reach God. You need a handsfree as well.

Waking up

and going down to the dining hall to realize that the typical Malaysian breakfast is not there to greet you. walking down the streets of this foreign city and then coming to know that my national language is useless. the sun still shines brightly above the head and yet the air is much cooler than it is back home. strolling in the markets and then awing at how much make up the girls here put on. discovering new food that doesn't taste good at all at almost every corner. and the waking up again in my uncle's house with his dog licking my hand. wtf.


Hello Taiwan.

Often

i wonder how i pass my time.

until then.

On death #1

death arrives today.

like any other day, the sky is a faint blue with puff of white clouds hovering within. the trees are green and lively, the birds singing that same ole' song in that monotonous chirp. the blooming flowers are radiant and there is a gentle breeze that sweeps across the grass like how you ruffle a boy's hair. and there's nothing amiss about the urgent ringing of the phone because today is like any other day.

death strikes today.

into the hearts of those who loved the dead-like a hammer's blow-shattering the strongest defenses. and like a running tap, the tears flow and hang loosely by the sides of the chin. they sway, shake and the droplets give in to gravity. silent screams of protest echo in the hearts. the denial of fact is useless- what good is it to reviving the dead?- but nevertheless, they shout to the dead and bid farewell.

few days after the celebration of a coming of age and now the mourning of death. how ironic. how fucking ironic.

when i think too much.

it's amazing how songs are able to capture feelings and details of precise moments and bring them back to me every time i listen to a particular song. the feeling lingers for some time, or at other times, they just become the song. and then, there are songs that i skip away for certain reasons and when the familiar chords waltz their way into my ears once more after a period of time, the details and the emotions come darting in as well. and for a brief moment, my thoughts wander off and the song becomes silent, and the emotions become the notes, and memories become the lyrics, and the song becomes melancholic. then, i come to myself and it is but a song.
oh. the randomness.

I could have been a singer.

Was clearing out files when i saw this report card which is actually just a piece of paper.
A further look at the comment the Music teacher gave me, i believe he was trying to say that
... I would have been someone like Justin Bieber if Youtube had existed back then.

Collectors alert!

You want?

And then sometimes.

the world looks like it could use a good smile.

On parting.

and again.

the seemingly endless wide four-lane highway. the bare lands by the road. the big billboards with the trying-to-impress-you punchline and the over-sized stewardess with the million dollar smile to welcome/saybaibaito you. the newly painted yellow lines that lie across the road, reflecting the sunlight, more or less an annoyance. the hand - like a pre-programmed robot - that keeps reaching out from the box.

and again.

the random topics in the car. the occasional jokes followed by the laughs that evaporate into thin air within seconds. the songs -all songs, all genres, all artists- only sang melancholic tunes. the gray silence. the uneasiness that crept under the skin. the eye contacts, and then a forceful smile. the unheard sighs. the peaceful humming of the engine pushing all the way to a hundred. the woman's voice from the phone giving directions.

and again.

the blue chip from the automated machine. the lifts and the escalators where nothing is being said. the few counters with some/many people lining up. Ah and look there is our friend. the familiar face with a smile. the cheerful note in his voice. the dry laugh. the patting of shoulders. the exchanging of glances. the excitement and the blues dancing in the air. the sudden silence again. the occasional peek at the watch. Time's up and i have to go he says. the heavy footsteps headed for the counter. the tear glands all up and ready for work. the hugs - never too long but always tight. the pumping of blood into the eyes and the tears. and the tears. and the nose are all clogged up and no voice comes out from the throat. someone passes a tissue. but the one crying - either the mum or the son or both - never realizes who. and the dad. the dad is always silent. the dad is always cool. but the dad, the dad feels as heavyhearted as the mum and the dad never shows it. the dad says bai to the son, take care young man and walks away. everyone looks at their mutual friend and says the same thing. takecare, goodluck, seeyousoon, keepintouch. and he walks down the escalator. everyone starts to follow him from above and they keep waving. he waves back from below. he moves past a counter and he disappears from sight. everyone tries to keep in pace with him. and as they move on to the next spot where they can see him walk, they doesn't notice that the dad-the dad is always cool. the dad is always silent- was standing at a corner waving at the son. they pound on the glass for his attention. he looks up and wave. yes everyone, wave back and smile. and then he disappears again. everyone moves on. look he's there! and wave again. say bai even he cant hear it. and then he turns around and wave then disappears for the last time. everyone turns around and start walking back. silence pervades the air.

and again.

goodbye my friend. you've been the one. you've been the one for me.

today

feels like a nightmare. it still haunts me at the thought of it. i take all that comes after. being nice to me is like stabbing me in the heart. so don't. saying i tried my best is definitely one of the worst excuses of the time. so don't either. i know what i am capable of and my best, call me proud or call me boastful but my best is definitely not this. and the hand that laid on my shoulder, the hand felt like hot iron burning through my skin. the words they said felt like needles pricking on my heart. i see, i hear and i feel the disappointment. despite how they say it's alright, i know it's not. i bring shame to them more than i do to myself. i try to sleep but there is a throbbing pain in my head that hammers again the skull. i remember someone said that if one does not have the qualifications, then he does not have the right to pursue his own dreams. that line, like an echo, races through my mind again and again. how true of that.

the least expected often barge into your life like a lightning strike. a contact of what? 2, 3 seconds? and the aftershock is hard to recover from. i heard what had become true today as a joke few weeks before. the joke being that the confidence i showed was merely because i thought i was right when i was not. turns out that the joke that i had laughed at became something i am crying over. what a joke it was. i thought of death. and i thought of hiding away. but where i do not know. my friend tells me to face the facts. i know, why would i not? i would definitely say the same thing to someone like me. but somehow i couldn't do it. they still talk to me like nothing happened. they still text me like everything's alright. i can't look them in the face and here, i apologize to everyone for everything.

a very simple conversation or a simple gesture of goodwill now becomes the most painful thing ever. i can't get myself over with this and this definitely feels like the end of the world to me. until i feel better again, don't comfort me.

Hahas, lols and bais.

and it is on days like these - boring days when the little boxes next to the people i want to talk to ain't green and i get to entertain myself by strumming endlessly on the same guitar chords for hours or replaying a video of me lip syncing on ipod and laugh blankly- that i come to realize i don't have that many friends as i might seem to have(which sounds pretty impossible if according to the number of friends i have on social websites). oh wait. a second look at the contact list and then there's this one friend that i have not been talking to for how long again? i clicked and the conversation window with the once familiar background comes in sight. i run my fingers across the 26 keys and i didn't know which one to start with. i hesitated and closed the window. what is there to talk about after asking howdoyoudo and finethankyou? haha, lol and bai? i suck at conversations and coming up with topics to brag on without preparation. in other words, i suck at maintaining friendship, relationships and blablablacksheeps wtfiknow. the only people i go out with nowadays are the few people that are ultimately close to me. either they had been there with me since primary school or they had bathed with me together or wrestled me on the floor or slept with me in my bedroom or many other little things that still puts a smile to my face whenever i think of them. it's not that [ somerandomyou ] can't make me smile but somehow i had built walls around me since the last relationship. after all, you only get hurt from the people closest to you, no? anyway, i digressed.

despite me telling myself all these and to perhaps, stop shutting myself in, i still can't guarantee you that you won't get haha, lol and bai from me the next time. at least, i promise i'd make myself sound a little more enthusiastic which after all, you can't see my face and i can't see yours either, so. =)

also, a video that i find pretty amusing. look at the boy's mouth from 0:49, he's like restraining himself from laughing. lol.

oh. and 0:38 is also epic. hahaha.

Why you should buy a new house

You walk into a house and you feel like this is home. This is where you want to stay. Everything up to the patterns of the tiles in the toilet fits your dream house description. You know this is home. Awesome rite?

Of course that would be awesome if you weren't staying in it when the house is undergoing renovation. And the toilet tiles? It takes a hundred gazillion hours of looking through all the tiles in the show room to find the perfect match that is black and white.

Let me tell you what. Don't renovate your house. Save the trouble and save the money and go get a new one.

Now, there's this site called Propwall that has all the top properties and most wanted properties in Malaysia and etc etc. Simple steps to find your dream house there i can assure you. Find the location where you would want your house to be at the PropertyHotSpots and then click on one of the little monopoly houses that has a fancy name which suits you because your house should have a name just like mine which i call it the Belltower because dingdongbell wtf.

Anyway, if you dont really care about the location and all you want is like for example, the perfect match of toilet tiles, you can browse through their arsenal of 40000 pictures which i suppose you will find something that matches your taste.

Then again, your dreamhouse don't come free and if you want to sell your old dilapidated house away, Propwall is also your solution to find buyers that think dilapidated houses are cool. Of course, if you do not have enough money to spare on buying your dream house, then why not consider renting it? Better still, start investing to earn money so that you can get your dreamhouse in the near future.

Anyway, back to the Belltower wtf.

The Belltower is still undergoing renovation and Master Bell Junior is still stuck in Belltower for god knows how long and has run dry on inspirations which once again becomes an excuse for the almost dead blog.

Touching on my what?

If you want to 1__me i wont say no. Touching on my 2__while i am touching on your 3__ you know that we are gonna 4__cause i don't give a 5___.

Gosh. Fill it in for me, would you?

How to rot away.

Gosh. It has been ages since the last post. *blows off dust*

I know. What to do? I was so busy with erm. rotting away.

All my inspirations have rotten altogether as well. I have been kept at home for way too long. I have been restricted to all inspiration sources. I need to go out. *reachesouthandforhelp*

If you are thinking that rotting is awesome and you wonder how to rot away, you can start off by sitting in a corner and just sit there and then keep sitting. Sooner or later, you will start to find mushrooms, maggots and all rotting stuff on you.

Anyway, if you have not been seeing me for a very long time, this is what i look like now.

yes. those are fungi. i am now the fungi man. wtf.

p/s please dont be afraid of me. i do not have fungi on me. seriously.

Life in a club.

You know you are in a club when your ear drums are drumming madly, there are strangers around you, and you really feel like hitting someone in the face because of the mad music.

My house is currently under renovation, and it definitely feels the same.

The test had made me pregnant, but that's okay.

I woke up on the last day of the exam and felt nauseous. And then i realised i had not been menstruating for a month, which means..Yes. I am pregnant. wtf.

The pregnancy made me late for the exam and when i got in the whole room was looking at me like they've never seen a handsome guy before, not like that they never seen me before, probably just not enough i guess.

Anyway, the crazy part came after the examintations. Met up with qianglin and asked paul to join in. Went for chilli panmeee. =D and then to the batting cage at One Utama and for bowling. Then, the awesome part came. We went to the Ampang Look Out Point without a map! Pretty cool huh.

Took us approximately 2 hours to get there. Jam session and missing out the turns for five times included. haha wtf.

But everything was worth it. The whole city was shining back at you. Street lamps flickering. Car lights crawling. Buildings looked like as if a hundred of candles were lit up on them. And the air was so cool that my hotness actually faded a little.
Man, ma guitar's test in like 15 hours' time. But it still feels freaking awesome to get rid of all the papers on the wall. =D

p/s fyi, i have never experienced menstruation.

Where am i?

I am at the moon now.

wtf.

McMahatir™

Was browsing through facebook when i came across this. So unrelated. Mcdonald's and Mahatir. oh wait.


Don't want to get caught by the ISA cause i still have an A2 test to finish. So, i'll let you guys do the imagination lar. hahaha. wtf.

The Epic Battle.

The last day of college worked it's way into the heart and unleashed the sentimentality within each and everyone. People were hugging along the corridors, taking pictures with all the people they had stalked for the past 18 months or so, the stalkers smiling like they've never smiled before and the stalked ones with forced smiles on their faces. Either way, it was a sad day.

But not for me and faris. He hated lard! How on earth could someone even hate lard when it's like the best food around? In the end, on that very fateful day, we came to decide that only a fight would bring the argument to rest.



In the end, Ganesh the awesome Indian came to the rescue. He strangled faris to death. Indians are so cool. wtf.

No malays or chinese were harmed in the making of the fight. And this post has nothing to do with race discrimination. And this is i think, a non-halal post, cuz it's got lard involved. Anyway, long live the Indians! XD

p/s this is faris's version.

With 900 bucks, you get...

150 McD set lunch meals.
90 movies.
20 petrol refills.
25 new stephen king novels. 1 new phone.

22 bouquet of roses to impress 22 different girls. Fail 21 times and still have my 22nd chance. wtf.

or you could just use it to settle the aftermath of a car accident. fuck.

If i am a mouse,

then the purple sheet under me would be a mousepad. wtf.

Hear me, hear me.

If you have had a meal with me before, then you would know that i do not eat meat but not fish and a little seafood.

Well, if you are wondering why is it so, let me tell you.

#1. I do not eat meat because it's a respect for living life.

#2. I am trying to save the environment. My theory was proven true by the april issue of NationalGeographic magazine which states that humans are running out of fresh water. Many countries are unable to provide clean water for their people.

It takes 1857 gallons of water to produce one pound of beef, 1382 for one pound of sausage, 756 for pork and 469 for chicken. No water was needed to produce one pound of fish. Fish lives in the salty sea. See?

I save water by eating fish/seafood. =D

#3. Mcdonald's has the best fishburger around town that i can't resist. XD

So, stop eating meat today. Saves water okayy. hahaha.

p/s and in case you haven't noticed, i don't eat fish which comes in the shape of fish unless forced by my parents only. Other than that, I eat fish that does not look like fish. hahaha.

If i have abs.

Bui and Jenny said that i can never have abs. Because my face would not match my body then. So i tried to imagine myself with abs and here's a visualization of what you will get.

I think it's fine, no?

Bon Apetit!

If you people, whoever you are -other than those whom I see everyday- had not seen me for quite some time since the last time you saw me, whenever it is, it's because i was stuck to my trials.
Farrk you trials. you made me missed out so many good things. damn you. =)

Anyway, if you were to think that i have started to fall in love with my papers/books/notes, no. On the other hand, i have instead, fallen in love with...

eating sinfully sweet foodbrain food. wtf. haha.

So today, imma teach you guys how to make Damien's finger lickin good strawberriliciouschocolateysandwich ! =D

Get some crackers, some icecreamballs with chocolatepeanut coating, and strawberryjam.
Smear a tablespoon of strawberryjam over the cracker and then place the chocolateicecreamball on top of it.
Take another piece of cracker and put it right on top. Then all you have to do is to sandwich them together and press it hard so that the strawberry jam is flowing out of the edges.
Finish it up and lick the plate clean.

Now, back to making love with physics. =S

blablabullshit.

Heaven is the bed when you have worked your ass off for the whole day but you still have to keep it moving.

Fuck. So near yet so far.

One day, when you grow up to be me.

"Dad! Where are you? "

In desperate times and desperate measures.

There are times like this, on a very random day, that we come to realise that our hero - one to lead us, to guide us, and to stand up for us- may actually be among one of us.

To the hero, we salute you.

p/s i wonder why the hero looks so familiar. hmmm...

I french kissed a car, and i don't like it.

It's not what good drivers do, but i just couldn't resist. The butt was oh-so-kissable. But, everything comes with a price. Mine? 1900.And of all the people I could have kissed, A JPJ OFFICER! woohoo. I just couldn't have been any luckier. Now, it's all about mending the big hole in my piggybank.
1900 is like 380 zapfan meals. wtf. =(

They don't like my balls.

You need lots of Apples to please most med unis so that they can accept you. And I thought med unis hated Apples because apples could make them go out of business. After all, an apple a day keeps the doctor away, no?


It's sad that my Balls are just not good enough for them.

Crab versus Croc.

One day, a crab was looking out to the sea. Unknown to the Crab, a Croc crept up behind it.
And eventually challenged Crab to a battle.

Crab lost. Hai su liao and ran away. The end. wtf.

very random i noe. but wth.

Happy tigerish chinese new year! =)

Getting flowers. Rm 60

Valentine's card. Rm 12.80

Delivery charge. Rm 40

Bribing sister from telling ma about this. Rm 100

Incident of sending flowers to the wrong house and having the girl to collect the flowers herself. Then learning that the recipient's an indian. Priceless.

Feeling so screwed up now. =(

Anyway, happy chinese new year! *roars*

Gorilla Rules!

Like the previous year, our college has this election for the board of student council. Just like the national election, only in a smaller scale. A really small one. Because the campus is not big.

Well, a week or so before the election, nominees start to put up their posters asking people to vote for them. And all over the place they had their posters stuck on.

By the escalator.

On the walls.

And much creativity was shown, where people compared themselves with Obama. And some even fused themselves with him.

Well, i am pretty sure this year was one hell of a competition, because there was a different species competing along the other nominees.

Yes. A gorilla that picks nose.