noise. no. sounds. many sounds happening at once. new acquaintances talking about their lives. how similar they really are is it still a conversation if one say and the next one rummage in her own life and find something that is as similar as it is? is that even a proper response? stories that get drowned in a sudden blast of laughter near where the ornamental tree stands and it's just random and many babblings and yadah yadah and then shrieks from the stairs something is happening there someone makes a fuss starts to shout and the other follows suit which breaks into another set of laughter and there are many conversations happening at once and concentration like an air filled balloon floats across the room without any direction here to there right to left sudden silence because the music stopped and the noise gradually grow again. let's runaway before it's too late run to where the mountains are runaway before tonight becomes yesterday runaway before the body breaks apart and becomes a million pieces like all the noise.
but watch out! no don't run to the mountains there're giants living underneath there that eat runaways and travelers and wanderers and dreamers there's no place to hide because mountains are party hats for the giants did you know that? no? I thought so too why do I know? I saw the mountains move once and I saw confetti in the air I saw the fireworks I smelled the air that stinks off alcohol and meat and I heard the noise they made stomping along with the beats dancing away in the night under the moonlight and then before the sun comes up they go to bed with their party hats on. so don't run to the mountains run away from it because mountains are party hats for giants.
there are so many things happening now so many so many and there's an eerie tiredness freezing over me something that pulls my whole weight down and all my limbs become really heavy and my eyelids become heavy and then something holds it back from just closing entirely. I could sleep right here right now in this position and diffuse myself into the wall i can't take it anymore and I am angry at myself for even wanting to come here in the first place I don't know why but I feel so old tonight like i've never slept in a thousand years and I feel so tired I want to sleep.
the house host comes up and asks do you need anything? no thank you. and then a really strong forceful smile but she must have noticed the eyes that only look at the infinite dreamland somewhere ahead past the people past the walls past the mountains past these life stories and she walked away. I've secluded myself so much i have created a really wide space for myself in this small and compact living area. the noise hits back again and it starts to become unbearable so unbearable and all I want to do is just sleep right now.
