Tell me what to do.

I am having my AS finals right now and for almost everyday during this period of time, i can't get my mind off the next coming test and all the preparations and formulas and bloody assumptions and shitty stuff ALL related to the exams.

Pathetic. Blame myself for not playing the paying attention in class.

Last Saturday, i was in desperate need of getting ink cartridges for my printer as i needed to print the exercises out. But the shop where i usually get my ink supply from was closed, so i had to drive around my neighbourhood to look for one. I got to the busiest part of my neighborhood - where all the banks, the shops, the everything are- and then i couldn't help but to notice this scene which totally got my mind off the coming exam and the shitty stuff.

I saw this kitten straying outside the bookshop.
It was still, obviously, very young and still at the stage of learning new stuff. It did not scurry away like all the other older cats did when someone was nearby, but instead walked side by side with the people walking along the corridor. It could not walk properly on four, and occasionally tripped a little and tried to support itself up. Then, it would look around. And then it would continue to walk and look around.

I stood there, by the entrance of the book store and i watched the kitten move around as if looking for food. I looked around and got to a nearby cheecheongfun stall and bought 3 fishballs for the kitten.

I got back and left two on the ground. I ate one. lol wtf. And then i stood by and watch as the kitten finished them up.
As soon as it had finished up the two fishballs, i left with so many emotions and thoughts boiling inside me.

Well, let's just say i've got so many things running in my mind at that moment and I just don't feel like saying it all out here. I felt exactly like then when i visited the orphanage. And how am i able to describe the feeling of helplessness? You see someone who needs help. You want to help. You try to help. Somehow, you just can't help. You can't do anything to help. Tell me. I just don't know the word to describe such helplessness.

As i got to my car, I saw this kid sitting on a stool by the cheecheongfun stall, munching away happily. Such contrast in life. And I can't do a thing to help.