Some memories.

I am back from pangkor.

And i feel really sad.
Like someone just died.
I cried and cried on the last night.
Even when i was asleep.
I didn't really sleep in the hotel for the last two nights.
I went to the beach, made a fire, lied down and looked up into the starry sky till i slept.
There were other classmates too.
And there were comets.
They were beautiful.
And the stars were bright.
It was fun.
And i really appreciated every moment with everyone.
I cried when no one noticed.
Then the last day of the trip arrived as the stars and the darkness in the sky faded away.
I bought a lot of snacks.
And when i reached school, silent tears broke out.
Shit. Now i am crying again.

Cheer me up, if you can.

I am really bored. I am looking forward to the class trip at pangkor. And i hope time would just repeat itself there.
I hate it. Cuz' when the trip ends, everything's over. And you have to part. And your heart becomes a little sad and depressed. Then you break into silent tears. And no one knows you are crying. Actually it's happening to me everytime. And parting is the part i hate most during the trip. Even in any journey. Even in life.
You just wish you'd never have to part. But reality's tough. And so you have to.
If only promises were made and kept. Then maybe i still have the chances of being together with those people around me that have left or are leaving. Sharing the happy times and revising the good memories. And it's just an IF.

Fill in the blank.

I feel really empty.
[ ]
Yes. That’s how I am feeling. Empty and lonely. The blank’s filled with emptiness.
It’s hollow.
And that’s how I am really feeling right now, at the moment.
It’s strange to admit that all the happiness and joy that I have no need to go to school has faded away.
And the joy of having the whole house to me has faded too.
Strange, huh?

Any ideas?

Okay. Darn it. My computer's going berserk. The connection is on and i just can't get online on my msn messenger. Time to ask my parents to get me a new one. But how? Give me some ideas, folks. Just some great ideas for me to get a new com.

Journey on a train

I went to sunway today. Planned to iceskate but watched two movies instead. Wasted a lot of money today. Darn.

Took Putra home today. And i happened to stand at the very front part of the train where you can look outside and see everything below when the train moves. And the objects at your side moves back as the train goes on. That's how i feel, precisely. And well, my brain started to think a lot of things.

Life is like a train.

There were cars still zooming below, despite the wet tar road. It was raining. And the sky was dark. Gloomy, i'd say. Anyway, it was already 7 something. Some cars were slow. I couldn't figure out that there were cars on the road, if their headlights weren't on and there was no light source around. Like i said. Dark. So, you really couldn't blame me if you were there and i didn't see you and say hi.

If life were a train, then the objects i saw might be things that we see in life. There must be something or something's in life that you missed and you'd never know. They come, they go. And if you did not notice clearly, you just miss them like that.

Then the train comes to a halt. And some guy announced the station through the speakers. People go out. People come in. Nevertheless, there were less people on train now than before. The doors closed. And the train moved on.

If life really comes in a form of a train, then the passengers are like people who live in your life. They come, they go. Some were never noticed. But some mean a lot to you. And they have to leave halfway throughout the journey. And life's like that.

The announcer annouced the station which will be reaching soon. I looked out. The streetlamps below seemed a little dim. And it was eerie down there. The train was exceptionally quiet. Only the sound of the train moving on.

If life is a train journey, then have you ever noticed who were the people that were there for you throughout your whole life? Do you even know them? Do you talk to them? These were the people that accompanied you till the end, but how many words have you talked to him or her from the beggining? Did you even care?

The train came to a halt. The doors opened. And everyone got out. Me among them.

The life ends then.

Graduation ceremony.

Today was graduation cermony.

And i felt nothing, cause i am still going to study at the same school, with same scheduled time, but with different attire. That is i got to where long pants.

Then we went to times square. I was damn furious with them. Cuz i hadn't had a lot of money with me and all the tix for every horror movie was sold out or there were not much seats left for the 15 of us. And it made me a fool in front of the indian male cashier.

Then we went bowling. And i went to borders. Bought a fiction story book which is 26.95. And a bookmark which is 17.80. And i think i lost the bookmark when i went to the primary school dinner. It must have slipped out eventually. And to think i lost such an expensive bookmark.

But i could never forget what it was written on it.

"wisdom begins in wonder." socrates

And i think it's rite.

A very cute dog lighter i received from zhen ee for my birthday