"....I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you...."
The song went on. You stared aimlessly at the monitor. The speaker was at loud blast. You suddenly feel so lost. Life's so short. And you are not leading your life at your best. Your examinations. Your sports. Everything. Lame. Failure. Damn, you sucks. Nobody will ever like you. Your attitude. You and your attitude. Your guardian appears to arrive home earlier than you have expected. Lunch. Gosh. Your stomach seems to be taking its nap. Not ready for next arriving meal. 3.49 p.m. Her friend appear to be so excited, eager and keen about you and her. You just logged in and her friend were already showering you with questions-much to your surprise. You thought she had knew it all along. Uh...Disappointment. "Let the bygone be bygone." It just came out from a part of your memory. You tried to track down where you saw this. But another part of your memory was waving at you trying to catch your attention. You hestitated. And you moved towards the one waving to you. You peeked in. It was your memory this afternoon. Yeah. Damn, You sucks. Attitude is your failure. You have tried to change. So what's the point? You really did your best at preparing. But in the common days, you were like so..UH...Lazy. That's it. Is that all? Yeah. She doesn't bother you in your studies. She encourages you. But you let so many people down. Your guardians, her, him and everyone. Everyone. "If only time will allow me. I will put in my best." That's what you say. That's what everyone says. Yeah. Lame statement. If only.