any time now the words on the paper start to run away from the paper. there is a ball for them, a short distance away right next to the edge of the table. it evolves into a carnival sooner and when i try to grab them and cramp them back to where they belong, they scatter off in different directions and they start to laugh and sneer and jeer at me. at my very naive thought of being in control. i look away and up at the walls that surround me. are they closer than they were? and before i could find an answer, they start to scream in my face, into my ears, inside me. then these walls close in. i look at the thin fine gap between the door and the floor and there's this tiny speck of hope that sprouts like a new seedling in a thunderstorm. is someone going to come by? will they know if these walls had eaten me alive? i think of many faces now. but the shrills - the screams had gotten on a new level now - flushes these images away. the carpeted floor beneath me cracks and opens up. it's only emptiness down there.
i pack my bag and leave.
Friday, May 06, 2011
Sunday, May 01, 2011
i wake up
to see the cream-colored ceiling staring blankly back at me.
there is an ache in my neck but I let it be. the smooth wooden surface of the floor is all that feels the tip of my fingers. for a second this place is alien to me. the humid air that floods my nostrils the next moment tells me where i am. are you inspired? the question is not funny today or probably it never was. my arms move around the floor my hands reaching out trying to grab a sense of time. I stop and wonder why even bother? the time here is dry and monotonous. I turn around and spread my hands and legs out. my limbs are hard, like the wood. i stay as I am and wait for something to happen. the vibration of my phone, someone calling my name, a heavy downpour, a dog barking, a long fearful shriek or the vibration of my phone. I wait and I start to imagine my own seconds ticking off the ennui that never grows old. but nothing happens. I give up and let the flatness of this space consume me once more and I close my eyes and I wander off in my slumber.
sometime later i wake up and the cream-colored ceiling stares blankly back at me. again.
there is an ache in my neck but I let it be. the smooth wooden surface of the floor is all that feels the tip of my fingers. for a second this place is alien to me. the humid air that floods my nostrils the next moment tells me where i am. are you inspired? the question is not funny today or probably it never was. my arms move around the floor my hands reaching out trying to grab a sense of time. I stop and wonder why even bother? the time here is dry and monotonous. I turn around and spread my hands and legs out. my limbs are hard, like the wood. i stay as I am and wait for something to happen. the vibration of my phone, someone calling my name, a heavy downpour, a dog barking, a long fearful shriek or the vibration of my phone. I wait and I start to imagine my own seconds ticking off the ennui that never grows old. but nothing happens. I give up and let the flatness of this space consume me once more and I close my eyes and I wander off in my slumber.
sometime later i wake up and the cream-colored ceiling stares blankly back at me. again.
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