Relax. Thursday. Sudoku.

the air-conditioner was tuned to celsius 16. The fan was on it's highest. The machine was set to the cool mode. The blazing sun outside made the small room a haven. i was forcing my mind for the only solution of the sudoku puzzle. Such confusing puzzles. Yet such fun. I make mistakes, yet can't get it right all along. Damn. Nothing to say. Don't ask why. Not today at the very least.

Merry Christmas. Sunday. Depressed.

Uh. Another Christmas. It's boring. Having nothing to do. I am getting crazy about her. I have got a lot of things to say. I need a counsellor. Someone to attend to my problems. My thoughts are all tied up.

***

It's a gloomy sunday. The trees are dull itself. Old yellow leaves scattered on the ground. Thunder booming behind those dark clouds. The sun is going down behind the moutains itself. The rays are withering. I am bored. Depressed. Frustarated. I feel all wasted this holidays. Staying rotten. I just couldn't forget her. Feel sick when i keep thinking about her. Worst till, it's the pmr and uec next year. What do you expect me to do? Time is going to be so cramped and packed. F*** myself. I have got to revise all those things learnt thru out secondary one and 2. Holy shit. I keep avoiding myself from those problems i face. Thoughts about her, My future, and my studies. Why is life so tough? I remember those days when i was younger. The world inside and outside me were simple. Like between black and white. Simple eh? If i were to grant a wish, I would wish for simple. Simple inside and outside me. That's all. May be i am confusing myself . I dunno.

I am frustarated. About love. About my studies. And about my future. Ma plans to send me to the states. She wants me to decide. Stay back or leave. I am growing older. Life is tougher. Decisions are harder. Sigh. i am thinking about leaving. To the states. Maybe i will change there. Or either deteriorate. Omigosh. But i am going to miss a lot of people. Maybe i still miss her a lot. I dunno why. i can't forget her. I just like her. Simple. Just love. Hope she doesn't sees this.